Navigating Friction
Conflict is inevitable in any high-performing team. The goal is not to eliminate conflict, but to make it constructive.
Types of Conflict
- Task Conflict: Disagreement over what to do or how to do it (e.g., architectural choices). This is often healthy.
- Process Conflict: Disagreement over the “Ways of Working” (e.g., estimation methods).
- Relationship Conflict: Personal friction or lack of trust. This is usually destructive.
The Interest-Based Relational (IBR) Approach
- Prioritize Relationships: Fix the problem, don’t damage the person.
- Separate People from Problems: Focus on the technical trade-offs, not who proposed what.
- Listen First, Talk Second: Ensure everyone feels heard before seeking a solution.
- Explore Options Together: Collaborate on a “win-win” solution rather than compromising.
Escalation Paths
When a stalemate occurs:
- Peer Review: Get a third person’s perspective.
- Experimentation: Try both ways (if possible) and measure.
- Decision Maker: Escalate to a Lead or Manager who can make the final call (and commit to that decision).